Dump Your Significant Jerk – aka FORK
So it turns out that there are a lot of oddball dates out there that are wonderfully applicable to FORKS, KNIVES, AND SPOONS – particularly in February since it’s the love-and-romance month and then by extrapolation the all things breaking-up and angry-relationshipy month. This week highlights the latter.
In FORKS, KNIVES, AND SPOONS, the forks are the cocky, arrogant player types. You know them! As Amy’s dad explains to her, “The forks,” he explained, “are the guys that won’t care about you. They will make you think they care, but they won’t have any problem playing the field.” So in a word, the forks are the jerks.
In preparation for a day of love, you may as well get rid of your own fork. That eliminates prolonged heartache as well as the need for buying a Valentine’s Day gift. There are even fantastic break-up ecards and handmade cards, and cheating boyfriend cards just for the occasion.
As they put it on Giftypedia: “Dump Your Significant Jerk Day is the day to unload the ‘baggage’ called a bad relationship. If you have a jerk of a boyfriend or girlfriend, today is your opportunity to tell them to ‘get lost’. This holiday is a win-win — you can end that unhappy relationship and save yourself some money because you do not have to purchase a Valentine’s Day gift.”
Have you decided to dump your fork?
If your answer is YES, read on …
If your answer is “NO, I’m keeping my a$$hole awhile longer,” or “my guy is a dreamy steak knife, I have no one to dump,” then read on to support encourage or support a friend in their dumping …
How to celebrate Dump Your Fork Week
Here’s how the folks at Days of the Year suggest you celebrate: “Do you live in their house? Great, leave a note in red-lipstick on their mirror that reads ‘Thanks for letting me know what I don’t want in a relationship!’ or a simple ‘Bye Jerk!’ Do they live in yours? Great, pack up their things and leave them by the door with a simple note “You have been evicted! Have a nice day!” Whatever you do, it’s time to dump the jerk and get yourself your life back, and someone who’s actually FUN to spend time with! Happy Dump Your Significant Jerk Day! Or should we say ‘Independence Day’?”
Gregory and Nicole at A History of Drinking suggest these two clever cocktails (click link for recipes) the Cruzan Cinngle Lady and the Rusty Ball and Chain. Go ahead and mix ’em up and toast to being jerk-free!
Do the dumping deed then go out with your girlfriends, take a long bath (or shower with a new friend even though that day has passed), watch the movie your fork disliked, order your favorite take out, or buy yourself a treat as a reward for freeing yourself.
How will you celebrate?
I believe that often people even stay in bad relationships longer than they should because the fear of the pain of dating is scarier than the pain of a bad relationship!
– Karen Salmansohn