husband-hunting on campus: still a thing, or a dying trend?
My parents met their freshman year of college. In their day, that was pretty typical. It was even something of an expectation, especially for women: you go to college, you meet your husband — the pillar of your future.
By the late 80s and early 90s when I was a co-ed, the “MRS” degree was no longer an acceptable goal. We women were at school to earn our degrees, and ultimately to pursue a career. If we happened to meet Mr. Right while we were there, great. But it was not at the top of our list.
At least not explicitly. The fact that my own parents met in college planted a subconscious seed that I might meet my future husband on campus. Freshman year, sophomore year, then at last senior year came and went, all without a would-be hubby. Like my classmates, I took part in the dying (or dead) art of dating, went to dinner, formals and movies, and occasionally hooked up. But for me there was no one serious. Though I wasn’t disheartened, in all honesty, I have to admit that deep down, I was keeping an eye out for “the one” between studying and having fun.
Today this comes out as a sort of confession. A full generation later, expectations have changed, both at home and in the workforce. Our society’s assumptions about marriage have changed, and we’ve assigned all sorts of narratives — whether true or false — to the M-word. Rumor has it that men have it better. That in marriage, women are being ripped off and are trapped, enslaved, or dependent. Read more…