Are You Spooning With a Fork?
fork noun \f-or-k\
1. a guy who is cocky, arrogant, self-important
2. a male who is charming to women in order to get what he wants
3. a guy who lacks decency or concern for the women he pokes or stabs with his tines
4. a man who moves on easily to the next female conquest, it’s all about him
5. forks range from salad forks to pitch forks
Are you Spooning with a Fork?
7 Ways to Know
1. While spooning he utters another woman’s name, for example, “Oh, Julie.” If your name is Julie, see example number two: “Oh, Heather.”
2. Cuddled up, he runs his hands along your body while asking, “When’s the last time you went to the gym, baby?” Extra fork points if he pinches or squeezes anything.
3. You’re all snuggled up and he farts then puts you in a Dutch Oven. (Click here if you don’t know what a Dutch Oven is).
4. He pushes your head out of the way and turns on the TV to watch while you spoon, “I can’t miss the game, you know,” he explains.
5. You may be spooning with a fork if, after five minutes or less, he’s un-spooning, rolling over and snoring. (If this is the only yes on the list, it may be considered normal knife-like behavior for your guy.)
6. Have you heard about sporking? Spooning but with little poky things … a little different from the Forks, Knives, and Spoons definition of sporks.
7. You really know you’re spooning with a fork if he asks, “How long do we need to lay here?” “We have to do this again?” or “Well, my old girlfriend never made me spoon, why can’t you be more like that?”
© Copyright Leah DeCesare 2017